Random Act of Sillyness...

ok,

well today, I was sitting at my desk at the radio station, and decided I wanted a cup, no I NEEDED a cup of coffee (Decaff thank you very much)... sooo I proceeded downstairs to the cafeteria, Mind you, this is a college campus and so things get goofy anyway,

getting back to my journey into the cafeteria, I passed the lost and found booth, they really have a BOOTH, lol, i will have to get a pic of it and post it.... anyhow,

I went up to the dude who looked like he had lost his puppy himself.. and proceeded as follows...

Me: xcuse me
Him: hi how can I help you
Me: I hope you can I lost my mind maybe someone turned it in...

there was a brief pause and then he laughed and said
"HUH HUH good one man!"

so with that I feel as though I have done my good deed for today..

So Much For Un-Biased in the media

OK, now this really Bugs me..

The Philadelphia Inquirer Paper has officially Endorsed Senator Obama and Sen McCain..

I thought Journalists were supposed to report the news and keep thier own opinions to themselves??

*shrugs and scampers off to find a corner in my room to sit and rock back and forth in* (joke)

Vision for Change

was going through my folders and found this, thought id share

I think that:


you dream from left to right and you manifest from right to left... in the midpoint, is true happieness

so happiness is somewhere in the middle betwwen dreams and reality lol



my own personal hell, and why i am here, and how i can break free..


gee the moon is beautiful tonight,

I think that if we all create our own hells, and life IS hell,
then the hell we all create for yourselves out of the bricks we make in life..

but why did I choose to use cement, why not marble, why not gold, why not love, why not helping others?...

because how can I have love in my heart for others when i dont have in in my heart for me...
its like a coldness.. when you look deep inside our yourself, and see how rotton you have treated yourself....
all becuase you dont love yourself for one or more reasons... (depending oun your past expierences)
so I am letting go of my past, for I am renewed, reborn....
I love myself, i dont feel the coldness anymore, only the coldness from the draft in my window,
which is also carrying with it devine light from God , God by the way is all around me too :)
he says HI ... He Loves me, so oooooo now wait, here we go............

the love of the lord....... If I dont love myself...and we all are "god" ....then I would venture to say that...
loving myself would be to have the love of the lord, and Joy...
lord, God, I want that love in my life.... I want to share it with others,
I want to love others as you love me, then I can use marble, or gold, yes those will be my bricks...
I will make magnificent bricks and make cement ones no more, for the cement bricks have no life in them...
and i will make a wonderful life, yes this will be my new heaven,

Time to Switch DR's

So to update, My friend went with me to the Dr's today and when it came my turn to go back into the office he told her that she couldnt come back... I explained to him in clear terms that I brought her with me to provide an objective perspective on what was going on.. Obviously I trusted her enough that I didnt think she would say anything mallicious that would have resulted in my being placed in a psych program or something like that or I would not have brought her...

I explained that I wanted her there because it is recomended that you have a friend or family member go with from time to time ... also I wanted her there to observe him and get her opinion on him...

I was having my doubts about him, and after today I am certain that im switching dr's.. for one, he would not shake her hand and got really nervous , I mean red in the face nervous.. and then once he got me back in the office he sorta slammed the door and still nervous, he said "I don't know her so that was why I didnt let her back" I replied "but I do, I trust her to give an accurate objective perspective and explained that it was reccomended that you bring a friend or family member" his reply was "yeah I know, Ive read that , but im not into that, It's not my thing dude" that pretty much sealed his fate... I just took my scripts and went on my merry way...

Jan 22 update

I know I havent updated in a while, Ive been busy.. Shooting and editing video, Researching video.. and working on a few other projects.. Im kinda nervous about my DR's appt tomorrow.. I have a friend going with me because I am not good with expressing things and I would probably get it all wrong..

not feeling as good as I should be. having trouble focusing, and even during conversations I loose my train of thought... or I would say things in the wrong context and give people the wrong idea of what I really want to say... so for the past week ive sorta avoided important conversations because of this.. my sister, my friends, .... this is not me.. i feel like a clod..

I've been off my medication for 3 weeks now, couldnt get it renewed because you have to see the dr every 6 months.. I had to take off saturday, sunday and monday , did so at the advice of a friend because she observed things that I didnt even notice..

im sleepy alot and spacey... Im glad I have someone to go with me because I wouldnt know how to explain all this to the DR, I have trouble even talking to her about it because the words fail...

she has been helping me eat healthier and i feel alot better, but i know i have a long way to go

Getting a Handle on My Finances

Well, apparently my credit is not as horrible as it seems. Yes my score is an embarrasing 520 but that is easily remedied.. There are 2 items which are acting like a ball and chain and keeping my score down... the total amount between the two items is about $1,500.

and so, I set a goal to clear BOTH Items by march of this year.. Plus I am doing things to show a payment history, (secured credit card from my bank, and a few other things...)

Will check my score again in April to see how clearing the two items, plus timely payments of credit card and other items have improved my score...

I have a short term goal of buying my first home within 5 years... Being I am a veteran I could get a discount through the VA, but I have been advised to clear up the bad stuff and bring up my score before even thinking about applying... not only that, you typically need to have 20% of the cost of the home to use as a down payment which means I would need to have that in savings in addition to my normal 3 months salary emergency fund (which I had to dip into last week)

I have decided to Blog this so I can track my progress and also if anyone else happens to read this they can learn from my trial and errors...

Senator Clinton Goes Door to Door!

I think this is something that we should see more often. I feel too many candiates are taking the "elitest position" by thinking they are too good for the old fashioned campaigning activities.. ie.. Kissing Babies, and going door to door etc...

Play of the day: Hillary door-to-door

Thoughts on AStrology and its effect on us all..

Warning!! Deep Cosmic Babbling Ahead, feel free to ignore lol

Immagine if you will,
A ball of fire, spinning , spinning so very fast that anything that gets near to it is pulled towards it...
now imagine several other celestial bodies, all spinning at different velocities.. these velocities are used to measure the passage of time in the universe. One day on mars is equal to several of our earth days.. we know that time moves in a constant rate.. does time move? or does the universe move around it...
now imagine alllll of that, in a dark icy ocean... traveling along with countless other suns, far enough away that we dont collide with each other... where are we all going? or do we simply just enjoy the ride and deal with the meteor showers as they come?
now immagine further still that some each of the suns are constant.. they do not travel, they are simply not in motion... this keeps the planets to which they supply light to close by.... and so life is possible under the right velocities and trajectories...
we stand on the ground, looking up at the night sky, everything looks as if it were a million miles away... yet the proximity of our planets is close compared to the distance of the other stars...
this is what accounts for the planets seeming to pass infront of the particular formations in the suns... it is those particular formations that account for the signs of the zodiac... so that is why it is so important for those suns to be constant... Immagine the termoil that would happen if one star from aquarius were to leave it's post... what would the impact be to the planets that depend on that light...
now immagine that when a particular planet passes near a particular planet passes near by to one of these signs, it amplifies the effects that the signs already give to the earth. what these people with thier ephemeresses and charts are saying is that somehow, the energies that come to us from the sky, from the planets, affects how we think? how we act? and how the ocean flows...
different planets in different signs are supposed to be associated with different aspects of life... the same way each sphere on the qabala tree eqates to life... in fact.... those same 10 planets are the same ten sephiroh, this is the gnothology ... the aspects which are associated with astrology must always equal the aspects in qaballa, we need this universal language .. this is how our own psyche is able to communicate and understand the symbols in dreams...
to know astrology without applieing it properly is like owning a spaceship and forever having engine troubles or be attacked by hostile forces.. unable to defend itself.... the ten planets we base our astrology on are in fact the same very spheres that are so very vital to the tree of life... our universe is our spaceship.. we travel around a ball of fire we call a sun... as long as we stay in proximity to the sun; we are able to continue, to exisit...
am I saying you should study qaballa? yes, but then that would mean you should study the tarot, and numerology... the more you learn the more you are able to see it in action ...
Astrolgy is a nice way of mapping out things in life, by knowing where the planets are going to be, and in which sign, we are able to say that certain things are likely to occur... AH but Jim, you said we have free will....
yes I did, our minds are as free as the fluid it sits in, which rises up to the top of the head everytime there is a full moon... our oceans, our cranial fluid, all are bound to the laws of physics...and astrology... when the moon is full it pulls things towards it.. because the moon spinns and has gravity...
you can go on learning and never run out of things to discover in your meditations... the more you understand about one subject, the more you are understand how it works with the others...

Colors Poem

I wrote a poem in 99, it was about the full moon, I am trying to find it because it is actually one that I can post lol..



ok, I know this doesnt exactly rhyme, and it is a deviation from the norm with me,
but I had wrote this a few years back while I was taking a color theory class.. I of course applied it to life itself lol

It starts as a beam of white light it shines on our Earth for all to bask
...Sometimes after the rain you can see a Rainbowthis is where you can see all of the colors that make that light
The purple, for the Lavenders that grow in the meadows and the Irises and Lilacs, to the Grapes and Plums sweet to eat..
Blue, for the sky where we get our rain, and where the birds fly.
Green, for the grass and the leaves on the treesorange, for oranges, Carrots and tigerlilys and pumpkins
Yellow, for lemons, sunflowers and Dafodills,
Red, for the appples, strawberries , Roses and wine
at night we look up into the black velvety sky, we see Black/where have all the colors gone?
you ask...they are right there.. all in harmony and in divine unity..
Just as all of the colors of the rainbow need one anotherjust as black needs all of the colors...
We all need each other, to bring back Harmony, Love and Divine unity.. we all have our role to play, and we should do our part...and we will be off to a great new start!

Saturday Jan. 5th

Had a pretty productive day. Was at the studio and got some work done for the website. (took some photos etc)

Sitting here at my desk at home orgainizing things.. found an old poem I wrote back in 1998 when I was working at the Trump Plaza in Atlantic City.. it was written for someone but the only problem is I do not know who... I wrote it expressing what was on my mind at the time... yeah I think I mentioned I was a hopeless romantic..

somewhere under a stary sky
she waits for me to make her mine
to whisper softly in her ear
sweet words she longs to hear
to hold her in my arms real tight
long into her dark cold nights
i am here waiting for her
untill our meeting doth occur
but that is in the hands of fate
and so I'll have to sit and wait

I have a few of them that I wrote but I dont really share them , I have one im working on now and that one I dont think will ever see the light of day because it is just too forthright and deep. Perhaps one day maybe..

Having a cup of coffee before I have to go into work, I am trying to cut back on the coffee.. im down to one maybe two cups a day..

The SirJimaNOT show

Well today I almost made a complete idiot of myself... but I can't take all of the credit for this one, I had help from another DJ..

I wont name names because that is just not what I am about.. but suffice it to say that thanks to a very ignorant and disruptive DJ, who should have known better... the Sirjimalot show was transformed into the SirJimaNOT show... allow me to ellaborate..

First of all, Im still learning the Equipt and I think i was doing pretty good considering Dawn only got to show me the equipt once before the station's Pre Holiday Demise.. I was all set, and was going over in my mind everything Dawn had showed me and pretty much had it all under controll... 4-oclock came and then everything started to happen...

one of the other DJ's had stopped in to pick up thier swipe card for the studio and then decided to come up and try it out to see if it worked... It did not work so this person then proceeded to disturb and distract me... one would think that the words ON THE AIR meant just that, and common courtesy would suggest that you just dont interupt a show in progress..

That is what I get for thinking. This person pretty much disreguarded the fact I was trying to do a show, and was determined not to leave untill the swipe card issue was resolved... I told him that he should call the station manager and let her know that the swipe card was not working and I even told him that I would personally be there to let him in Sunday for his show... he left and so I thought that was the end of it... meanwhile, the first 10 minutes of my show were shot at that point because I couldnt intro any of the songs while dealing with him , in fact I had to set the CD to Continuous play... so I got back into my chair and got the next song all qued up... and sure as rain... wouldnt you know right when I hit the Button which put me on the air and started to speak, He returned with the locksmith interupting me again ... I just switched on the cd again and basicly chose a random number where 3 songs could play to give me a good 10 minutes... I told him that he was wrong for going and getting the locksmith and that the right thing to do was to call the station manager... and he STILL insisted on having his swipe card issue resolved... so pretty much the first 45 minutes of the show was shot and then it took me another 10 minutes to regroup and dig out...

this was my first time alone in the studio and so of course I needed to focus on what I was doing .. I was totally embarrassed because I had a whole show planned and couldnt even do the shout outs I had told people to listen for ... it is a good thing for me I guess that the live internet feed was not up or that would have been a total disaster considering I had told people I would play thier songs and couldnt even do that...

I just basicly played a few of the songs I had on CD and que'd in some music from the web.. I didnt go too much into what I had planned, I will save that for next week..

I almost feel bad about calling the station manager and letting her know what happened...
Key word, ALMOST....

The Answer is So Simple!!

That's right, I'm too nice...

I was at work doing my paperwork and giving report... I got into a debate/ argument with one of the nurses... He was talking about his latest Girlfriend... and he told me he was considering leaving her alone because she was to flaky... "you just gotta bag em and tag em... then you move on" those were his words not mine...

I told him that I was looking for more than just a "fling" and he told me that girls don't like guys that are too nice and old fashioned... "the Gene Kelley act went out with his movies" he added again...

That kinda pissed me off ... but then I regained my composeure..

My Grandparents were married for 56 years when my grandfather passed away... I feel that communication is important... more than that, I believe in treating a lady like a lady.. why should I change and take on the bad guy persona just to have love... Love gained through a lie is not love at all... it is only temporary... I would rather be alone and be known as kind and careing than to be wasting my time in a relationship built on a lie. I am who I am, I like a girl who can speak her mind and I will always respect her for having a brain... I respect a girl for who she is, and belive friendship is one of the most important ingredients in a healthy relationship.. but what do I know? I have alot to give and yes sometimes I have a habbit of being too nice, but im working on it...

Things Were Fine Untill... (Mischief Managed for now)

The day started out like any other day, I had been up all night cleaning and making way for my new furniture ... 9:30am rolls around... hmmm I think I will go get my income taxes done and gt my Rapid refund check... I was all smiles as I pulled into the parking lot on Atlantic Ave and had my Id's and paystub ready.

I walked in like it was my Birthday and the secretary there even smiled ... My Cheshire cat smile was quickly turned into a frown that even Lionell Kiddy City could not turn upside down (yeah i know im showing my age by using an analgy to an old toy store comercial, but it fit so sue me)

"Oh We can't process your refund untill after the 12th which means we cannot give you an anticipation loan because we would need the return form 1040 along with the loan agreement"

My mind was suddenly scrambling to figure out how I was going to cover the check I wrote for my Car insurance on the 31st, and I had to give the furniture place my deposit because they are delivering my new living room set today... There was only one thing I could do, Desperate times call for desperate measures... letting the insurance check bounce was totally not an option because that would mean cancellation of my insurance... and to NOT pay the furniture deposit would mean no furniture for me... which would really suck considering I had taken my old recliner and cozy chair out to the dumpster... not to mention this is something that will help me improve my credit score... because by paying the furniture on time it establishes a payment history... soooo off to the bank I went and withdrew the money from my savings acct which is my emergency money... and deposited the needed funds in my checking acct...

Mischief Managed right?? well sorta, for now.... so I thought...

Insurance check covered and paid fdeposit on furniture with debit card...

so all was well as rain on a summer day... I was in trenton, having coffee with a friend and then I decided to check my messages on my cell phone... I hit the voice mail button and to my horror and dismay was transfred to customer service because that is what happens when they restrict your account for non payment.... GREAT!!! Murphy's law came a knocking at my door...

I guess I can survive without my cellphone for a week.... that is not an emergency... it is just Embarrasing because people wont be able to reach me by cell phone, just email and msn msgr...

If it were that critical id have gone back to the bank and took out the money from my emergency funds savings.. but I can wait till next week....

I dont make new year's resolutions ecause I never keep them anyway, but this year I will, and I am going to keep this one... I need to get a better handle on my finances...

And so.. another year cometh..

It's New years... 2008

This is going to be a bit long.. you have been warned... it is my new years post and it contains alot about various parts of my life...

I worked new years eve... I chose to work because of my profession.. (one of them anyway)
I am a nursing assistant and work in a nursing home... I do plan on becoming a nurse because there is a huge shortage of nurses in the world especially Male nurses...

I could have easily had the night off with pay being it was a holiday, and gone to pretty much anywhere I wanted.. but I chose to spend it at the nursing home.. There were a few call outs... people who chose to go party instead of coming into work... This bothered me because in Nursing, people depend on you... it is a hard job, and there is no glammor and rubbing elbows with big wigs...

Just by looking in the different rooms while doing my rounds, I could tell who got visitors and who was forgot about...

At midnight, we all just went from room to room and hall to hall wising everyone a happy new year... One of the residents I take care of, who rarely speaks, took me by the arm and told me that he really apreciated everything I do for him, and that he meant that from his heart.. Hearing that I just froze... and then burst into tears because I dont hear that very often in my life...

New years Day was peacefull, I spent it re-orgainizing my apt... One of the things I wanted to get after new years was a new living room set... when I moved in here in may 2005, I had bought furniture but then my mother was getting new furniture, so she was going to let me have hers, which was alot nicer than mine, so i let the lady downstairs have my sofa... I got the short end of the stick on that one because the guy who was supposed to help me move my mother's furniture into my place couldnt help me because his back was hurting and i couldnt find anyone else to help on such short notice...

so for the past year, my living room furniture consisted of my desk, a recliner and a high back cozy chair...

I had been looking all year, (2007) to try to figure out what i wanted but nothing caught my eye... I also had been doing things to re-establish my credit because I do want to buy a home within the next 5 years or so... One of the Nurses at work was telling me about this place that finances new furniture on a rent to own plan... and once the furniture is all paid off, they give you a form to send to equifax showing your payment history and whether you pay on time or late... etc...

I went into the furniture place and found my new livingroom set... I sat down and that thing just swallowed me up... I was in heaven... lol... the lady in the furniture place told me that "that was the cookie monster" the staff had nick named it the cookie monster because it was dark blue and very cozy, and they all liked to sit on it... so technically, it was new but used scince the staff liked to sit on it... I was able to negotiate free delivery with this info. haha!

so now, my home will actually feel like a home and not just a place to come sleep inbetween work...

I have a box of books that ive had scince i was a kid, I decided that im going to donate them to the masonic children's learning center, they can really use the books... I went into the good will store and was looking for a cheap end table and then I saw a huge pile of books, CHILDREN's Books, like new... just sitting there... the price on the Childrens books was 89 cents each... I just started loading up... $50 later and now I have an additional 2 boxes of books for the kids...

Id rather see them go to good use than just sitting on the shelf...

I will post again in a while, it is 3:26am, and I still have alot of work to do before i head out to get my taxes done... I will post a picture of the cookie monster once he arrives ...